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From James

 I’m 50, living in London, and I’ve been struggling with depression for years. It’s a constant battle, and lately, it’s been getting worse. The weight of it is crushing, and it’s affecting every aspect of my life – my job, my relationships, my health.

I work in finance, a high-stress industry with long hours and constant pressure. The demands of the job are relentless, and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I used to thrive on the adrenaline, the fast pace, but now it just feels overwhelming. I’m exhausted, burnt out, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

The depression is like a dark cloud hanging over me. It saps my energy, my motivation, my joy. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, to find the will to face the day. I’m constantly tired, even when I’ve had a full night’s sleep. It’s like I’m moving through life in slow motion, unable to keep up.

My relationships are suffering too. I’ve pushed people away because I can't connect to them anymore. I feel like a burden, like I’m dragging everyone down with me. My wife has been distant and when things get to me I even start to doubt her, I think of the time when we separated and saw other people. We’ve had some tough conversations, and I’m worried about our future. I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t know how to fix this.

I’ve tried therapy but my therapist moved to Netherlands 3 months ago and i can't get along with any of the new ones. The antidepressants dull the pain, but they also dull everything else. I feel like I’m living in a fog, disconnected from the world around me. The therapy sessions are a lifeline, but progress is slow. Some days, it feels like I’m not making any headway at all.

The worst part is the feeling of hopelessness. It’s like a constant weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe, to think, to function.

Work is a constant source of stress. The deadlines, the pressure to perform, the constant scrutiny – it’s overwhelming. I’m worried about my job performance, about my future in the industry. The anxiety is crippling, and it’s hard to focus on anything else.

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